Alcoholism is wrecking families. The effects of alcoholism continue far beyond the years of trauma. One in five adult Americans have lived with an alcoholic relative at some point during their childhood. (Buddy T, 2020) Children who live with an alcoholic are four times as likely to develop alcoholism and are also at greater risk for behavioral and emotional problems.(Behavioral Health, 2020) No one suffers as much as children do in this sad situation. Children are more likely to have difficultly dealing with stress & highly likely to marry an alcoholic or abusive spouse later in life. (Behavioral Health, 2020)
Characteristics of Adult Children Retrieved from www.thecabinhiangmai.com
There are major behavioral patterns that play out & evolve beyond childhood which include poor self image, loneliness, guilt,anxiety,feelings of hopelessness, fear of abandonment and chronic depression. (Behavioral Health, 2020)Alcoholism effects every family member dramatically more than it does the actual drinker. The unsafe environment with disruptions of a child's normal routine, tensions that can be felt by the child of strained relationships & dishonesty all weigh heavy on a family.(Buddy T, 2020) Alcoholism is a slow progressive disease that takes your family by surprise, once innocent ,one time behaviors become more common and more accepted as normal behaviors that can reek havoc on your family.
Study Finds Alcoholism in Family Retrieved from www.matrixdiagnostics.co.uk
Drug Abuse Affects the whole Family Retrieved www.thecabinhiangmai.com
ROLES
There are different roles certain family members tend to take on when dealing with alcoholism within the family. The first is the enabler . He/she covers for the individual,takes on the responsibility of taking care of everything left undone and may denial about the seriousness of the addicts problem. This person excuses behaviors , unable or unwilling to hold the addict responsible for their actions,tries to smooth things over or run interference so the addict does not have to face consequences of actions.(Addiction Center, 2020) This enabler stunts the addicts ability to recover if they do not stop protecting them. The second is the Hero. The Hero is usually the older child who overachieves and is obsessed with perfection and sometimes needs to take responsibility in the home in place of missing parent. (Behavioral Health, 2020) The next is the Scapegoat. The Scapegoat misbehaves and is often in trouble in school & with law enforcement , this is reflective of the poisonous / chaotic atmosphere at home. The Mascot is next, the Mascot uses rumor to find some normalcy and balance with his/her situation. The Lost child is the saddest , the Lost child is isolated from other family members, they don't want to rock the boat, they have trouble making relationships as adults ,and often suffer deeply & quietly to themselves. (Addiction Center, 2020)
SUPPORT
It is important to be supportive but firm with addicts helping to put them in direction they need to go for help. It is vital to encourage loved ones while holding them accountable for their behaviors and creating rewards for positive behaviors.(Addiction Centers, 2020) Family members can attend support groups with loved ones or join their own support groups for families of addicts . (Addiction Centers, 2020)
Here are some great links:
REFERENCES:
Addiction Centers (2020) The Role of Family in Addiction Recovery. Retrieved from www.addictioncenter,com
Behavioral Health (2020) The Effects of Drug Addiction on Family Members. Retrieved from www.bhpalmbeach.com
Buddy T (2020) Alcoholism: The Family Disease That Affects Every Member. Retrieved from www.verywellmind.com
Very nice blog on alcohol and the effects on the family. The graphics really highlight the life of someone living in an alcoholic home, and none of them are healthy for anyone involved. Family problems as a result of parental alcohol abuse are far reaching. Many individuals entrenched in the grips of alcohol abuse inevitably face financial strains due to loss work productivity, loss of promotion opportunities, and fewer regular work hours due to hangovers (Alcohol, 2020). The sheer cost for the alcohol alone can cause financial troubles. Alcohol abuse affects the social life of not only the abuser but also the family members left to deal with it, or hide from it. Work functions that include alcohol may not be an option anymore. Fear of going to social events with someone who may not be able to control their drinking can put a damper on relationships. The family member may be left to make excuses for not attending events due to their partner’s inability to engage in social drinking only without drinking to excess (Alcohol, 2020).
ReplyDeleteMarital problems will be sure to follow in the path of alcohol use disorder. Watkins (2020) states that of married couples who get into physical altercations, 60-70% of them abuse alcohol. This comes as no surprise. If someone is ignoring the partner, or the children, spending the household budget on alcohol, causing fights within the family, they will most likely escalate to the point of conflict (Watkins, 2020). Problem drinking affects relationships by neglecting their duties, needing time to recover from drinking, encountering legal problems, and the inability to stop at will (Watkins, 2020). Marital trouble that erupts from alcohol abuse includes conflict, infidelity, domestic violence, stress, jealousy, unplanned pregnancy and divorce (Watkins, 2020). Co-dependence can easily evolve with partners adding insult to injury in already volatile home life.
Sadly, children will undeniably suffer the most from parental alcohol abuse. Children may suffer from neglect, physical, sexual or mental abuse at the hands of their parents. Children of alcoholics are very likely to develop alcohol abuse themselves. When parents cannot control their drinking they may forget to attend school functions, birthday parties, or other social events for their children (Alcohol, 2020). Turning Point (2019) suggests that children of parental alcohol abuse are at higher risk for cognitive, behavioral, and emotional problems including anxiety and depression; dishonesty; academic problems; poor emotional development; and difficulty with intimate relationships as adults. Families as a whole are affected by alcoholism in the home. Individuals can have a host of problems ranging from physical and mental health issues (Turning Point, 2019). Guilt, shame, embarrassment are all emotions that family members can experience living with someone with alcohol use disorder.
I especially enjoyed the section on the "roles". I had not heard the terms mascot or lost child used in that context before. That was great information. Nice touch with the links to the articles on families in crisis. I enjoyed reading your blog.
References:
Effects of alcoholism on families and close friends. (2020). Alcohol. Retrieved from https://www.alcohol.org/faq/problems-associated-with-alcoholism/
5 effects of alcoholism on family. (2019). Turning Point. Retrieved from https://www.turningpointtreatment.org/blog/5-effects-alcoholism-on-family/
Watkins, M. (2020). Alcoholism and family/marital problems. American Addiction Centers. Retrieved from https://americanaddictioncenters.org/alcoholism-treatment/family-marital-problems
Hi Nichole,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you alcoholism is wrecking families. In my opinion it is one of the most destructive addictions and one of the hardest addictions to confront. The worst part is that most alcoholics are high functioning. They have a job and live at home with their family, they fail to realize that they have a problem and when confronted they become angry. Most often the spouse becomes the enabler and does what they can to cover up the fact their loved one has a problem to avoid confrontation or embarrassment (Fetting, 2016). This makes the problem worse. There are ways for families to approach the problem.
Educate Yourself: Learn about medical problems that alcoholism can cause.
Do Your Research: Research treatment programs, talk to your doctor, attend a ALNON meetings to learn about other families approach.
Consider an Intervention: This is where your education and research comes into play. Make a plan and stick to it, present it to your loved one. Show concern and back up concerns with facts. If you think the loved one will be resistant bring a professional into the intervention (How to Help an Alcoholic, 2020).
References
Fetting, M. (2016). Perspectives on Substance use Disorders and Addiction With Clinical Cases. Thousand Oaks: SAGE Publications, Inc. .
How to Help an Alcoholic. (2020). Retrieved from Hazelden Betty Ford: https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/articles/how-to-help-an-alcoholic
This is a very realistic portrayal of how the family is affected by alcoholism. While I do agree that children suffer in these situations, they often grow up not knowing what “normal” looks like. I grew up with alcoholism and to me it was how families acted. I was not aware that some of my friends were not experiencing the same things I was. It was not until I was a teenager and started rebelling that I came to this realization. Unfortunately, an adult child of an alcohol grows up believing it is normal to have that kind of life and will end up marrying into or becoming that which they came from. The lucky ones realize this is not normal and strive to do better, even though it may be extremely difficult.
ReplyDeleteAs a child of alcoholics, I understand all too well how poor self-image, anxiety, and chronic depression affected my choices as I grew older. My mother was a classic enabler. My biological father died when I was very young in an alcohol-related incident. My mother soon married another alcoholic, and she too was heavily involved in that scene. They would often go out and come home arguing. No matter what my stepfather did, my mother always defended his actions and his character. We did not have a hero in our family of six. My two sisters, much older, left as soon as my mom married my stepfather. My older brother repeatedly got into trouble and ended up in jail most of my childhood. I guess I was the lost child in that situation as I never was able to pick a good partner (the first one we were very young, the second was a dry drunk, and the third was a prescription drug addict). At 47 when I moved here to Florida I finally found out how to make a relationship work, and that began with picking someone with no baggage or addictions. It makes sense to be supportive, but I could never be co-dependent or enabling in any of my relationships, because I saw what years of anxiety and depression did to my mother. She was more than supportive and that didn’t help the rest of the family.
My stepfather never had a reason to quit. A co-dependent spends their life taking care of the addict, bailing them out of trouble, defending them to others, and alienating themselves from those who see the addict’s true colors (Lancer, 2018). It was a one-sided marriage, she felt trapped for years in constant anxiety and often fear, and this behavior ended up causing her to neglect her own health and well-being.
Reference
Lancer, D.(2018, Oct 8). Symptoms of codependency. Retrieved from the Psych Central website: https://psychcentral.com/lib/symptoms-of-codependency/
My cousin just posted on Facebook the other day about the fact that it was her fiances 3 year anniversary of sobriety. She said something that was really interesting in her post. She said "alcohol is the only drug that you have to justify why you don't use it". This is so true. There are so my people who drink because of peer pressure. People who can't overcome peer pressure turn into "social drinkers". From there their drinking can escalate to the point that they are exhibiting alcoholic tendencies without even realizing it. Alcohol is so easy to get, even when you aren't old enough to drink. I remember being in college at 17 and having no trouble getting any kind of alcohol I wanted at any point. People shouldn't be shamed for their decision not to drink, and drinking shouldn't be so socially acceptable that it is the go to for celebrations and big events.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteAlcoholism like any other addiction takes a toll on your family and your body. It begins with social drinking then casual drinking to not being able to handle life without it and from there is all downhill. My uncle is an alcoholic and I truly believe if he stops, he will die. I briefly grew up in a household with a parent that was an addict and watching it is hard. Not knowing what personality, you will get on any given day.
ReplyDeleteAlcoholics don’t realize that they’re slowly killing themselves as their liver is steadily weakening and dying off. Although the liver is the only organ that regenerates itself, but you can get to a point where is no return and no life preserving aids.
Your blog was informative, vibrant and easy to read.